There are days she just wants to know someone wants her. Someone is there waiting for her...when she gets home. When she leaves work. Someone is waiting impatiently because they want to see her.
There are days when she is grateful to only have to worry about herself. To not have anyone to answer to. To not have to please anyone else. To be able to go home from a bad day at work and to sulk and not have to entertain anyone. To cope with her feelings as best she can.
There are days when she feels so lonely. When she listens to people walking by outside, laughing and chatting as they make their way to the pub for a drink or the restaurant for a Sunday lunch.
Days when she looks at posts on Instagram, almost wishing she didn't have the app so it wouldn't feel rubbed in her face.
There are days when she loves the fact that she doesn't have to clean the house, she can spend the majority of the day in bed and leave everything for tomorrow.
Days where she won't get dressed and when a meal consists of odd bits from the fridge and freezer.
There are days when she wishes she could share it all.
The highs and the lows.
To share those sulky, grumpy, lazy days with someone, as well as the happy, high days.
There are days when she doesn't know what she really wants.
When her heart and head are torn.
When they are at battle with each other more than ever.
When they team up and create a massive force.
All that she wants....is hope. That one day she will be good enough for someone to want to spend their life with her. Spending all of those days with her.
To hope that one day someone will love her, through the ups and the downs, the highs and the lows. Someone will wait for her, will greet her as she walks through the door, or will run to her as they will in the door from a day at work.
Someone who looks forward to waking up next to her in the morning. And going to sleep next to her at night. And who looks forward to all of the bits in between.
That's all she wants.
