22.7.24

Attachment, Authenticity and Jordan Pickford

I’ve never really been into football before. Usually preferring motorbike racing than football. It’s still my preferred sport however since meeting my boyfriend in 2020 I have found myself to now be a fan of football. Something I didn’t think I’d ever say. Until recently if you asked me to name football players I would still be naming Teddy Sheringham, Ryan Giggs, Paul Gascoigne and Eric Cantona.
I’ve been to 3 Norwich City matches, and in 2022 got to see the Netherlands vs Belgium during a trip to Amsterdam. 

I thought my enjoyment of watching football, especially Man City who are my boyfriends team and due to him introducing me to them are now the team I follow, would just be when I am with him. However, I shocked myself when I realised I put football on in my own house when I wasn't with my boyfriend. I enjoyed it and watched the whole match.

I'd say the Euros in 2021 was a time when I really got the football bug, up until then I was in the "it's just a load of men kicking a ball of air around" camp. When I went to my first Norwich City match I really appreciated the skill involved. When anyone says men can't multitask I'd suggest they watch a football match. I'm amazed at how they manage to run into position, be aware of who is or isn't around them, get the ball and already know who they are passing to and how to do that! (It won't ever match up to the skill of a TT racer going round the roads at a ridiculous speed).

The Euros in 2021 was where Jordan Pickford caught my attention. I find it hard saying that as a female because there always seems to be an instant reaction of girls saying they like a player and "Oh because you fancy him?". I'm not like that. I'm not usually great at remembering players names but will quite often recognise their faces and say to my boyfriend "I know him". I, of course, don't, I just recognise them but it's one of my quirks and I'm sticking to it.
I love determination, passion, skill and personality. All these things are what I can see clearly in Pickford.

I was looking forward to the Euro's this year mainly for the chance to watch Pickford again. And well, he didn't disappoint did he?! I would love for there to be a small box in the corner of the screen anytime England play with a camera just fixed on Pickford.

Because I can't just accept that I like the way he plays football, the determination, passion, skill and personality I have looked further into it, to try and understand why I enjoy watching him so much. 
I have this "quirk" (I'm using the word quirk because I learnt in therapy that if I use words such as silly then I am telling other people the things I do are silly, and I don't think this. It is a quirk I suppose which feels a bit more accepting than "It's a silly thing I do"). Anyway, this quirk I have is that I can get very attached to people. This tends to be on TV programmes I watch or books I read, occasionally films but mostly programmes or books. When I've finished the programme or book I can find it hard to have the loss of that person, it's almost like the grieving process. Sometimes with a book, I then can't pick another one up for a while, until I have really grieved for that character. It's not even that the character has died, it's the fact that a series or the book is finished therefore that person is "no longer in my life".
So sometimes I have to look at why I feel these bonds and attachments with certain people and characters.

With Jordan Pickford I realised quite quickly what it was about him, other than what I've already mentioned, that created that "attachment".
It was his authenticity. 
I see real similarities between us, the passionate side of what you are doing, the frustrations you can face with a team or with a process not going as you want it to, but also, celebrating yourself! 
I am my own biggest cheerleader. I big myself up and I have no issue with that anymore. I used to think it was a bit strange and that maybe it would make other people feel uncomfortable but we should be able to praise ourselves, our achievements, our good work. It's one of the things I will no longer apologise for.
However, Pickford will celebrate himself and also look to the crowd of supporters almost for validation. "I did well right?" "Did you see that?". And I feel like I have that element too sometimes. 
I know I've done a good job, I don't always need others to see that or to tell me, or to understand what I've done, but it's nice to sometimes get a well done or appreciation.

After the last England match in the Euro's I felt sad, not only because we didn't win but also at the loss of no longer being able to watch Pickford (I know, I could watch Everton). That loss is filled a bit with being able to watch Erling Haaland at least.




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