I used to be able to open my laptop and just write. But I haven't been able to do that, and I don't like it.
Instead though, I have found that pen and paper....much better!
I opened the book on a blank page and wrote "January Posts-Brainstorming" and wanted to see where it went.
I wrote the word 'promises' and made a list of promises to myself for 2017. Resolutions are crap, lets face it. They're almost made to be broken and to not be followed. But promises, I don't like breaking a promise and I feel that I need to stop making so many promises to other people and to instead start making more promises to myself.
I promise to look after myself more. I originally wrote "try to look after myself more" and then took out the word try.
I am going to make an effort to look after my skin and so far, am doing well with this! No longer going to sleep with my make up on, using products that will make my skin look and feel good.
Same goes with my hair. I used to be super lazy when it came to washing it and then making an effort to dry it and style it, and using products on it to stop it looking damaged due to heat and the fact that it is coloured. I'm starting to really understand and "get" that even the smallest amount of effort can make you feel better about yourself and more confident.
I also need to look after my health and my body in terms of exercising and my diet. Three years ago I was so proud of what I achieved and how I changed my diet but last year I let that slip massively and although I am kind to myself about that, I think it is now time to sort myself out and get back to that place where I looked and felt good.
Going along with the looking after myself more theme I need to look after my head a lot more. I have been shocking with my anti-depressants and haven't taken them as I should and spent too much time last year feeling ill because I didn't use them properly. I don't want to do that again.
I want to look into meditation and other ways of relaxing myself and keeping my head clear as much as I can.
I also need to look after my heart. I'm not sure how, or if this is even possible but I've certainly not been kind to it at all.
I promise to make the most of experiences. Really enjoying them and throwing myself into them, but also recording them to be able to keep the memories fresh.
I am really proud of the Isle of Man and Ireland videos I made last year, and the photos I took in Ireland. I didn't take as many photos at the Isle of Man which frustrated me, and more importantly I didn't use my camera enough to record memories of the boys.
I want to do more with them. I need to push myself out of my comfort zone (as I did when we went to Woburn) and to realise I am strong, brave and good enough to be able to have experiences as a family of three.
I promise to think more about myself and what I want from life. To not worry so much about other peoples opinions and what they think of my choices.
I promise to say yes to invitations and experiences. I want to look back on the year and to be able to see good times with other people, and to not just have memories of sitting at home by myself wanting to be out there.
I promise to stop burying my head in the sand and to "get shit done". I know full well that I am lazy and I do let things build up and get on top of me and I can't live like that.
I need to write to do lists, use my time more wisely, and be an adult.