Recently I was told that I 'suck' when it comes to eye contact, especially eye contact and smiling at the same time. It wasn't an insult, I hasten to add, but this person was completely right.
So, being that paranoid over-thinker that I am I thought I would come up with 5 things that I don't suck at.
1.Putting on a front.I'm pretty good at hiding what is going on in my head or any struggles I'm going through. I've always felt like I'd rather people think I'm ok, and think I'm having a good day than for them to feel they have to ask me what is wrong and then feel forced into asking if I want to talk about it.
It also stops people judging me, or making assumptions about me.
2. Challenging myself.I like to set myself personal challenges, and I like to praise myself when I complete them, or at least if I try.
Going to London for Britmums Live the last two years was a massive challenge for me, as was driving to Hayleys, deciding to lose weight and take up exercising, driving to Somerset, booking a break to the Isle of Man with my brother and so on.
3. Sticking up for myself.I used to be so bad at this, and I probably still am in some ways. However, the last few years I have really began to stand up for what I believe in, and also stand up to people if I feel they have been unreasonable or offensive.
I kind of live by the motto "You don't deserve that" and when I feel that maybe someone is treating me in a way that they shouldn't, I ask myself if I deserve that treatment. If the answer is no, then I stand up for myself.
4. Forgiving others and giving people chances.I've probably been a bit of a fool in the past when it comes to forgiveness. And I have given some people far too many chances, but now that I am capable of sticking up for myself I can accept when it is time to move on in a relationship or friendship, and then whether or not to rekindle that relationship or friendship once we have had space and time to sort out ourselves/differences and to understand ourselves and each other.
I don't completely forgive people, I'm not one of those people who can forget any hurt that someone has caused. However I am able to gloss over it to move on.
I am also aware now of how many chances people should be given, and when people should be given a second, third, forth or fifth chance.
5. Putting others first and making people feel good.I always put others before myself. As a mum I have done it for 6 years now. It's a rule I follow for most of my family members, and my friends...and strangers too sometimes. I tend to put other peoples happiness before mine sometimes, and their needs which can be quite selfish of me when it comes to what I need and my happiness.
However, it makes me a good person, right?
I am all for compliments and making people feel good about themselves. I think people do not compliment others enough, in fear of possibly offending, making someone feel uncomfortable or because it could be considered or mistaken as flirting, which makes me quite angry really.
I don't have a problem telling someone if I think they look nice, if their hair looks nice or if I think they have done their make up in a particularly nice way that day.
I don't have a problem telling someone if I think they are funny, talented, or if their actions cause me or someone around me to be happy.
I know some people find it uncomfortable to receive compliments, my best friend hates it, but I still do it because I think it's important to let people know they have done something that has been appreciated, whether it be something small or something big.
I would rather someone feels uncomfortable for a couple of minutes or so but is left with a feeling of pride and with a smile on their face than for someone to end the day disappointed that no one noticed their new glasses, or the effort they had put into looking nice that day, or for something they did or organised.
Again, it makes me a good person, right?