I've met and worked with some incredible people this year and headed to Watford for a meeting and team building day and was hit with the "I don't belong here" fear.
Soon enough I was sat in the meeting room feeling super lucky to be able to be involved and part of an amazing group, and lost the anxiety and gained more excitement for the day ahead. It's nice when you can genuinely think there isn't one person here I don't want to spend time with.
We went to the Escape Rooms in Watford which was challenging but so much fun and after a win from the girls we went for a drink whilst we waited for the mens team to finish. Las Iguanas "Happy Hour Cocktails" (which should really be happy hourS as it's all day and night!!) was the perfect way to celebrate!
Once the men joined us we enjoyed another drink, and a little winners gloat from me, before heading back to the hotel to quickly get ready for dinner.
We'd been sent the location for dinner, The Florist in Watford high street, a week previous and immediately I looked it up on Google and Instagram. Oh my goodness it looked INCREDIBLE! And actually maybe my lack of photos make me a failure at blogging and instagramming!
I'd had a look at the menu regularly in the week leading up and I was glad I did as there was so much to choose from and seeing as I am so indecisive I would never have been able to choose in 15-20 minutes once we'd sat down.
When we walked inside I realised how photos don't do it justice. It is SO beautiful. The details are so perfect, even little things like framed dried flowers on the walls, the perfect background for a photo and an old telephone box with flowers trailing in and around it.
Although I had pretty much decided on my food I did not pay enough attention to the cocktail menu and with so much to choose from decided in the end to get the waiter to choose one for me. Which I was really glad of in the end as he'd picked me a gin based cocktail with Elderflower and Cucumber. I wouldn't have opted for gin but it was so nice I was pleased I got him to pick it for me.
I don't think there was any point in the night when one of the ten of us wasn't laughing or smiling...or on a couple of occasions crying with laughter!
I soon wondered why on earth I felt so anxious in the morning when I was sat there having a heart to heart about my marriage breakdown, talking about motherhood, tattoos, various other conversations and then having a chopstick eating competition during mains and dessert. FYI I think eating sweet potato and aubergine Katsu curry with chopsticks is a lot easier than eating chicken Katsu curry with chopsticks. However, watching someone grabbing at chicken with chopsticks is highly entertaining, as is watching them have to eat every grain of rice with chopsticks also. There was a moment I wondered if I'd have to resort to licking the plate to get all of the rice off and thought twice about being so cocky.
However, nutella donuts are a lot easier to eat with chopsticks...although equally as entertaining when watching your component struggle when the donut filling is a bit too hot when it explodes in their mouth.
The food was amazing, to the point I could have quite easily have eaten everything on the menu or quite happily return every night to try out the whole menu!
When it came to the end of the night it was one of those "Oh" moments because I genuinely didn't want it to end.
On the drive home I felt so content. I'd woken up feeling really happy and realised that despite a tough year in certain ways, that actually I have had some amazing moments. Moments I'm so proud of and happy to have been part of and I felt this overwhelming feeling of being so lucky.
And on that drive home I booked in with my tattooist and the following day had a four leaf clover tattooed on my wrist.
A reminder of despite how tough life can be, I am lucky to be who I am and to get to have done the things I have done this year and have been lucky enough to be around people I would only ever have wished to be around.
Even now, a week and a half on, I miss it and wish I could go back and do the whole day all over again.