1.1.19

Why I cried at 'You' (contains spoilers)

I love a good psychological, thriller series. There seemed to be a time when ITV in particular had so many good ones on all the time. As soon as one ended you'd only have to wait a couple of weeks or so for another to start.
That doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

Netflix is great for series as well. Whether or not it's going through all of the Louis Theroux documentaries, Dark Tourist, Piers Morgan killer documentaries, or Orange Is The New Black, Pretty Little Liars (which actually became a bit too much after the 4th or 15th season).

I kept seeing the trailer for 'You' and ignored it. Thinking it would be some cheap film, but ended up Googling it after developing a crush on both of the main characters just through the trailer. And decided it would be worth a try to watch.

I find with series such as this that it's not always easy to connect with both characters. Sometimes you prefer one to the other, for whatever reason, or one of the characters is more likeable, or relatable, or just plain nicer.
I was able to quickly connect to both Joe and Beck (yes ok the crush on them both helped, but anyway....), and there was this desperate yurning I guess for them both to be together.

I don't think anyone could say Joe's social media stalking or Google searching was anything more than what anyone else does these days. Old school friends, old boyfriend's or girlfriends, whoever is the gossip for that particular time. I think we all do it. In fact, our Instagram accounts are a great example of how we follow strangers, and how we invest in lives of people who we don't know. And we can learn and know so much about them, without ever meeting them.
At least Joe was doing it for good reason....

Ok maybe murders, stealing her phone and checking up on her was a little overboard and too much. However, I think the phone checking is a sign of the times.
We are all constantly on our phones that partners, no matter how much trust there may or may not be, would/could potentially always have a concern because what the hell are we looking at for hours on end, and who the hell are we talking to on WhatsApp, Messenger or text?
It's easy to be suspicious, its easy to behave in such a way that you would make your partner doubt you.

I have a feeling I may be in the minority for feeling so strongly towards Joe in how he acted, why he acted in those ways, for Beck.
And in the final episode I felt my heart racing and my eyes stinging slightly as Beck described Love.
And yes, maybe Joe took it way past the extremes, but don't we all just want to be loved? Loved so passionately? To have someone who just wants us to be happy and to have the most amazing life and to feel loved?
As I said, Joe took it to the extreme and I can understand why in some ways. For example, the therapist...he wasn't wrong with his assumptions there and after all he had done and felt did he deserve to be cheated on...and then lied to?

Maybe he loved Beck a little too hard. A little too passionately.
But I do think that we all, or maybe it is just me, want someone to feel that way for us.

I long to feel like someone loves me more than anyone else in this world does.
For someone to love me hard.
To care that much. 

I cried, ugly cried, for half an hour after finishing the series. One reason was out of sadness for finishing it and then having that void. But also, because of what I had invested in those characters.
What I hoped for them.
What I felt for them.
And how it ended.
How it could have ended.

Selfishly...
Despite what Joe had done.
Despite what Beck had done.
Selfishly, I wanted it to all be ok.

For love to conquer.

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