2018...I will do better.
I feel like I am in a better frame of mind at the moment. I am content and settled in some ways.
I mean...my house looks like not just one bomb went off but ALL OF THE BOMBS went off and there are so many things I need to sort out and be mindful of but these will hopefully get better if I stick to my promises.
Rather than just writing them down in a list form followed by "I need to do this and this is why", I thought that actually I need to write and make a plan of how I am going to achieve each promise.
Be more in control of finances and outgoings
To be honest, before I moved into a house by myself last year I had never really dealt with numerous bills. I guess I just planned them all and thought it would be ok, without actually keeping a check of what I pay and when.
I didn't shop around for best prices like I could have done, other than for car insurance and house insurance, but for my phone and Broadband I automatically opted for BT and TV I went for Sky. I suppose I just automatically went for what I knew about before.
For the past year and a half I have buried my head in the sand and ended up spending a lot more money than I should have done or needed to. I was too proud to accept help that was offered to me and that I am entitled to. I got to the point where I knew I was going to get in trouble and finally accepted that I need to stop being so proud and actually I work more than the minimum hours I should, I declare all earnings and don't "fleece the system" so why not apply for and accept what I can.
I've already made a start with this and have changed my energy provider, the new billing kicks in on January 10th so I already feel a little success in this area. I've also renewed my BT contract saving money and getting a better deal for my Broadband (finally as my internet has been shocking!)
I also cancelled my Glossybox and Birchbox last year seeing these as unnecessary treats that I was very rarely happy with.
I promise to make a note of all outgoings, keep a track of what is going out and when, and to try and reduce any outgoings where I can. To only pay for services I use and need (eg Netflix, Spotify) and to not sign up to or be tempted by anything that isn't essential (eg Birchbox and Glossybox).
As above really, but with controlling my outgoings I then want to be able to save money. I have never been good at saving money but since I recently almost got myself in trouble (more running out of money and having no more savings etc) and with a boyfriend who I want to be able to confidently book holidays with and take out for meals and so on, it's given me a kick up the bum to get myself sorted.
We booked a holiday in July and that was what gave me the final push to sort myself out. I bought myself a bottle to save money in, it's an alternative to the smashable pots so the only way to get your money out is to smash it, and I think this will be a really good way to keep a track on my savings and to encourage me to do it without the temptation of dipping in a borrowing the money for something unnecessary.
I think the fact I have told my boyfriend that I'm not good with money and that I am saving has also encouraged me to use this bottle to save money in as it's nice to be able to proudly say "I've put X amount in today".
I promise to be better with my money and to be mindful of what I am spending. At any time I am about to buy a takeaway or feel I have a disposable income and can buy pointless items, to instead put that money into my savings bottle.
I am massively ashamed of what I have done to my body. Although I do forgive myself as mentally I have had a hard year and do tend to comfort eat.
I have joined the gym and will try and stick to regular rota on when I go. I saw a personal trainer who set me up with a regime so I will follow that. However, I don't want to be too strict with myself about going as there are times when I won't be able to make it and I don't want to resent myself for that.
I am going to make an effort to eat better, in terms of what I am consuming and also my portion sizes. Getting back into the 5:2 diet which worked well for me before.
I promise to take more care of myself and my body. To be kind and to not set myself unachieveable goals or limits. To remember what and who I want to look and feel good for.
I really feel like I have let my blog go a lot in the last two years. I have found it hard to juggle a working life and my mum life along with my blog to and it naturally took a back seat, not at all purposefully because I have missed it. But also haven't been in the frame of mind to write properly.
I've set myself some projects to encourage blogging and sometimes I think that's what you need to give you the boost to write. I have a list of posts to write and went through my 225 draft posts...narrowing it down to 14 so will aim to get those finished and scheduled by the end of January.
I also have some Isle of Man, and Ireland posts I still want to write and had a trip to Paris in September which inspired a list of 6 posts which eventually I want to get written.
I managed six months of free writing which involved every day just opening a particular notebook and writing whatever came into my head. But then I got depression quite badly and I found a lot of what I was writing was negative and I didn't want that. So on January 1st I will start again. It was very therapeutic and I really enjoyed setting time aside in a day to make time for that.
I promise to be more organised with blog posts, to make time for my blog and to set myself a realistic schedule, but to not put too much pressure on myself if I don't achieve what I really need to. Something is better than nothing. To set time aside each day for free writing and to enjoy putting pen to paper.
This year I've taken time to meditate. I haven't got myself into any kind of routine with it and most of the time only do it for 5 minutes and although that works well enough to make me feel good and rested, I definitely find the times I focus more and meditate for longer I end up feeling better and getting better results. On 3 occasions I found meditation videos on Youtube and settled the boys at bedtime by doing it with them. They really enjoyed it and I want to bring more of it into their lives next year too.
I promise to manage my time better and to make meditation part of my daily routine. To focus more and to also focus more on meditation for the boys too and make it part of their routine. I promise to make sure my environment is tidy and clear and to focus on what I can do around me to make meditation more effective.
I bought my oracle cards when I went to Glastonbury in Easter 2017. I have really enjoyed using them and even though I am open minded I have found that they have given me the answers and guidance I have needed each time I have used them.
I want to learn more about them, to learn the best way to use them for me, and to again get into a routine where I use them either weekly, fortnightly or monthly, however I don't want to use them for the sake of it as I don't think they will be as affective and don't want it to be forced.
I'd also love to get to the point where I can read them for other people. I have done my boyfriends cards once and will use him as my guinea pig for now.
I promise to learn more about the history and uses of Oracle cards and to learn more about how they work for me and benefit me. To use the cards when I feel it necessary and to develop, if I can, to read for other people and to benefit them.