The Last Class

Last night I attended my final Stress Control session. There were 6 sessions in total and annoyingly I had to miss session 4 and 5 because I was so poorly although thankfully I was able to collect those workbooks yesterday.

Yesterdays session was about sleep and the future.
Sleep is one of my issues, as a result of the anxiety and depression but also because I have just got myself in this silly routine of not sleeping.
The reasons being because my husband is a snorer, and also because of when I was breastfeeding Harry. Even though Harry was asleep I would stay awake, waiting for him to wake up for his milk. We weren't in any kind of routine but I would wait and would end up giving up at 1am, and going to bed only to be woken 5 minutes later, or I would go to bed at 2, for the same thing to happen.
The session last night focuses on how we can improve our sleep.
We looked at writing a sleep diary and knowing why our sleep is disturbed, how we can relax, retraining our sleep, as well as looking at tips for sleeping better.
The aim being that an improvement in our sleep will mean we are more able to fight and control our stress/anxiety/depression in the daytime.

We then looked briefly at the future, and how we can control our future in terms of stress.
We focused on dealing with set-backs and the fact that it is ok to have down days and to remember that down days don't put us back at step one. We may have moved forward three steps but a bad day may only take us back one step, so to look at it postively that's still two steps we've moved forward.
We talked about letting others help us in certain ways. Not just by being there to talk but by letting people help around the house, or doing particularly jobs for us.
And also at praising ourselves. Saying well done and addressing a good day, and particular achievements.

I'm not sure if overall the stress control classes have helped me. But they've certainly given me things to think about and made me see that some of what I think is "normal" and to make me feel like someone, somewhere, understands.
I feel a lot of it is what I knew already.
I didn't go to the classes to be cured, or to come away feeling completely better. I was realistic with my thoughts.
But I am glad I went, because I almost didn't.

Now I need to think about my next steps.
Once again I'm waiting on yet ANOTHER assessment to see about getting CBT. I actually think I've had more assessments than actual appointments. It's incredibly frustrating to have to keep repeating the same upsetting things over and over again to strangers. Although I find it easy to write about I don't find it so easy to talk about.

I am aware of two other classes I would be suitable for but unlike the stress control classes, which was just sit and listen, these ones are a lot more involved and are a smaller group where you sit and talk. I'm not sure I want to do that.

I recently started taking anti-depressants and I'm going to try and be positive and realistic when it comes to those. If it means I'm on them for a few years then so be it.
I want to be happy not only for my family, but most importantly for myself. And to start leading a positive, fulfilled life.