I worked 17 days straight. I can’t tell you how many hours I worked in those 17 days, I wasn’t doing standard work hours. I didn’t count the hours.
I worked 2 of my weekends off and through two lieu days.
I’ve worked really hard on my work/life balance. It used to be awful. Constantly checking emails out of work time to “make it easier when I return to work on Monday or the next day so I wouldn’t have as much to come back to”.
But I broke my “no emails or work stuff” on my phone rule.
Once my laptop is shut it’s shut, I don’t open it, even to pop on to do any personal things because I know I’m tempted to look at my emails, to check a spreadsheet or get ahead with things for the next day.
But I kept my laptop open.
“Are you STILL working?”
“Why are you working, please stop”.
Comments from my two boys until I explained to them why.
Why did I work 17 days and all those hours?
Was it expected of me? No.
Did anyone ask me to? No.
Is there a huge list of reasons why? Not really no.
There’s one reason really and one reason only.
Through choice.
There was an underlying reason of course but I didn’t HAVE to work all those hours. I chose to do it.
I chose to do that for the company, for the colleagues and for myself.
If I didn’t have my emails and work platforms on my phone it would have affected my mental health. Would I have enjoyed my weekends? No. Would I have enjoyed my lieu days? No.
I would have constantly been thinking about work. So for my own mental health it was better to have them on there, the opposite to how I usually feel.
I still managed to sit in a pub beer garden, drinking a lager and lime, watching the band my high school Media Studies and English teacher plays in, enjoy the company of my understanding boyfriend, whilst also being present for work too.
I still managed to have a day out at Jimmys Farm with my two children, watching the Capybaras swimming in their pond, making friends with a goat, enjoying the quality time with my children but also being present for work too.
I attended a course through work in 2019, something we called Winning Behaviours and one of the main things I took away from that course is that we have a choice. Anything we do we have a choice.
And I reminded my managers of this when they told me they didn’t expect me to work more, when my children asked me if I was STILL working, when I explained to my boyfriend that I would have my emails on my phone for the evenings and weekends.
Someone once said to me that if I was a stick of rock and you broke me open the company’s name would be written inside me. This was said when I hadn’t even been with the company for long but now really is a true statement.
I am so passionate when it comes to work, that I had to reign it in a bit and put “life” first but it will always be in me to drop things and make work a priority if I need to. Or if I want to.
By the end of the 17 days I could have carried on, but I knew that at some point I would be at risk of burnout. So Friday at 6pm I turned my emails off my phone and have had a work free weekend.
Well, other than buying a 2024-2025 diary and already writing down my daily tasks. Asking my boyfriend if it counts as work…he said it did but I carried on.
I’ve received praise for the work I’ve done, which actually made me feel really uncomfortable. I’m good at praising others and praising myself but no so good at taking it from others.
I didn’t even need the praise or recognition. I know I did a good job and went above and beyond but, as it was a choice and not something expected of me, I think this is why I feel so uncomfortable. I did it for me, the colleagues and the business and not for “LOOK AT WHAT I’VE DONE. LOOK HOW GOOD I AM”.
Then why write about it? If I’m not doing it for recognition?
I suppose to show that we do things through choice and that it’s a big thing for anyone to be able to reflect on what they do.
“Why am I working late?” Because you are choosing to.
“Why am I looking at email on my phone outside of work hours?” Because you are choosing to.
Work life balance for me is a choice. Those 17 days were a choice for me to have more of the balance tipping towards work and I’m completely ok with that. I was able to look after myself better for doing that, I was still able to be present for those around me, maybe not 100% but I was able to explain so they understood. And I have time to make that up to them and to have days when life will tip the balance more.
I chose to break my own rules and I’m happy with that choice.
